Just Breathe

I don't know how I did it, y'all, but I'm pretty sure I went 12 years without breathing.  I spent 12 years holding my breath-- every time a kid ate PB&J and then played with Brendan, every time we ate at a new restaurant, every field trip and class party, every church potluck and airplane ride with peanuts scattered on the floor.  I held my breath.  FOR. TWELVE. YEARS.  And half the time, I'm not even sure I *knew* I was doing it.  It just became second nature.

Until that moment when I finally TOOK A BREATH.  AND  THEN I REALIZED-- I've been holding my breath this whole time, and NOW, NOW I know what it's like to BREATHE.  And it's wonderful.

Brendan's been in maintenance for 5 weeks.  That means he's lived 5 weeks of his 12 year old life without any food restrictions.

Brendan has lived a thousand lives over the past 5 weeks.
It all started with a few close friends and Blizzards at Dairy Queen!

In those 5 weeks, he's: been to 2 birthday parties and eaten the cake at both; gone to a "6th Grade Social" where they served GOD KNOWS WHAT for food-- AND I DIDN'T EVEN CHECK; attended a church potluck, where he was allowed to go hog wild-- "HAVE WHATEVER YOU WANT, BUDDY;" not to mention, the child has done an OIT media tour that included being on TV in Dallas, Houston, and a video clip that got over 400,000 views on Facebook!

The Birthday Cake seen 'round the world (or at least the internet!).

A Family Celebration at The Cheesecake Factory!

You *know* we *had* to eat here!!

Brendan got to keep ALL of his Halloween candy this year!

Giant, cross-contaminated donuts with cousins!

To see Brendan's media tour click here, here, and here!

But TODAY, TODAY was the first time I really think I allowed myself to BREATHE.  Brendan went for his 5 week follow up today.  He had blood drawn last week, and I spent most of the week worrying that one of his blood test numbers could make all of his success come crashing down.  They were checking his allergen blood test levels, but they also ran a CBC to look for eosinophils in his blood-- if those were extremely  elevated, that could be a bad sign.  It was really just a routine check-- Brendan has had no problems recently, so there was no reason for his eosinophils to be elevated, but in true allergy mom fashion, I HELD MY BREATH.

This new allergy-free life we'd been given was JUST TOO WONDERFUL.  Was it too good to be true?  In the days leading up to our appointment, despite Brendan's new found freedom, I still couldn't BREATHE.  I simply couldn't let myself believe that our lives had become this amazing-- this NORMAL.  And so today, when I saw Brendan's eosinophil number, sitting just where it was before we started this whole process, I took a deep BREATH.

This new life IS real.  OIT REALLY WORKED for us.  Dr. Silvers did it.  He really cured my boy.  And then came the tears, of course.  And hugging Dr. Silver's neck.  This is our new life. This wonderful, care-free, eat-WHATEVER-he-wants-WITHOUT-FEAR-life is OURS.

And I feel lighter, and more full of life than I have in 12 years.  BREATHING seems to do that for you.